April 11: D/J, Phone Sex

[kinetic_elaboration]

Daria/Jane, "phone sex," for Year of the OTP: March.

This seems like it's cheating in every possible way but also it's April 11th, so. Same 'verse as the others, established relationship. Intro dialogue taken from The Teachings of Don Jake, provided by Outpost Daria.

*

“Yo!”

“What are you doing home?”

“What are you?”

“My family went crazy from eating psychotropic berries, so we were evacuated from the woods and they had their stomachs pumped.”

“Wow, that's cool. My family was already crazy without any berries, so Trent and I evacuated ourselves—to the airport in my aunt's rental car and flew the hell out of there.”

“Oh. Well, anything else new?”

“Nah. You?”

“Nah.”

“So—Daria?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you wearing?”

“Jane!”

“What! It’s a normal teenage girl question. Your sister’s a fashion type. I bet she and her fellow fiends ask each other that all the time.”

“Are you planning on judging my sartorial choices?”

“Don’t try to change the subject with those fancy three-dollar words, Morgendorffer.”

“I’m wearing what I always wear.”

“You’re not exactly painting a picture.”

“I’m wearing clothes. You know the kind of clothes I wear.”

“Come on, Daria. I haven’t seen you all weekend. I—miss you, okay?”

…

“Daria?”

“Imissedyoutoo.”

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Mm.”

“You know, if we went camping together, we could share a sleeping bag.”

“And wear nothing?”

“Daria!”

“I was joking! It was a joke!”

“Sure it was. You know. We aren’t sharing that sleeping bag tomorrow, or anything.”

“I know.”

“I mean, not any time soon.”

“After this weekend, I’m not in a hurry to go back to the woods.”

“And I’m not going to rush you.”

“And when we do go, we’ll bring snacks.”

“No psychotropic berries for us. Cool as that sounds.”

“It’s overrated.”

“What isn’t?”

“I know. I should go. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, Daria. See you tomorrow.”