January 28: Class; Presentation

[kinetic_elaboration]

I am so exhausted.

Had my Wednesday class today and did my presentation. I was super nervous beforehand and honestly paid very little attention to the lecture, but I think overall it went well. I might have been talking too fast at parts and it’s also way more disorienting than I was expecting it to be to just talk at a zoom room and only technically know that people were listening to me. But I could see the professor on her camera and she was nodding along as I spoke, so that sort of helped me feel like I wasn’t just talking to myself in my living room. I did actually sort of like leading the discussion afterward. Did I maybe bullshit some of my responses to people? Perhaps but I think I sounded okay.

I was planning to kind of check out for the rest of the class but I stayed pretty engaged, actually. Tried to acquit myself decently in a small group assignment; listened to other people’s presentations. My next small paper looks way easier than my first one, and while I’m kind of worried about it only in the sense of finding the time to do it, I also don’t think it’s too bad, objectively.

Now I’m just soooo tired. I can also feel the random anxieties and irrational worries seeping in, a little muffled because I have no energy but definitely there because I’m tired and it’s late. Tomorrow I have to go to work and after work, I’m going to do stuff that isn’t school. Stuff like actually all the laundry in the world, and some other cleaning/organizing, and packing. I’m both looking forward to doing things the progress of which I can see/things that don’t involve my brain too much and kind of worried because… it’s really so much laundry and I’ll be tired after work. But! What can you do?