January 14: Some Thoughts on School

[kinetic_elaboration]

Utterly exhausted and I keep reminding myself that I won’t feel this way all the time, every day, so I shouldn’t push myself now when it won’t do any good. I had class today and then I ate, so I feel a bit more normal. About the class itself, I feel… mixed. I don’t know. I just feel like it goes so fast and I’m so tired, and the participatory parts are the second half, so I’m very, very tired… and I don’t know if I care enough. I hate to say it. But I think that that’s the real question I’ll have to chew on later.

But not now because it’s not like I’ll have a real answer.

I think I need to figure out how to approach this type of class: long, infrequent, in the evening. I’ve never done that before and I was worried about it, and kinda rightfully so. But not in the way I anticipated. It’s hard to engage the way I want. I’m not sure if that’s something I can fix or just something that is, or something that will change on its own.

I’m also trying to avoid thinking about all the stuff I need to do for this class… it’s suddenly feeling like a lot. I do think it will feel more manageable when I look at it with fresh eyes tomorrow and break it down to its discreet tasks. I know the best thing I can do right now is get enough rest.