January 8: Thoughts on the Week

[kinetic_elaboration]

Getting to the end of the week and even though I’m very proud of myself–I’ve done everything I needed to do and I didn’t even cry and scream and drag my heels the whole time–and I think I’m dealing with all the Stuff pretty well, perhaps because of my nice two week decompressing break, I am still tired. I am a tad worn.

At work I’ve done, over the last few days, more receipts than I do in most months, and even some other tasks on top of that. I also did all my chores and my errands. I attended class. I even wrote yesterday after class, proving to myself it’s possible, although I…kinda feel like I’ll skip today? Which makes me feel sort of pathetic but it’s true, I do not feel the verve.

I didn’t think I’d do any (major) writing this week because, you know, look around. But I am sort of missing it. I don’t know. I’m not between projects per se but I did finish the draft of the main thing I was working on (might or might not still expand a scene… nothing’s ever fucking finished with me) and I haven’t fully settled on the next thing. I’m a little unmoored. I need to shake it off a little and find something I’m excited about–at least as excited as I am intimidated or scared.