October 2: Feelings Upon Return

[kinetic_elaboration]

Finally back in the States. My body thinks it’s past 3am even though it’s not too late in the evening here. It’s been a very, very long day of travel. And now it’s all kinda a blur. I definitely have a head cold and it of course made everything harder at every point and it continues to drag me down now. I think I’m hitting a particular kind of crash that is made worse by how surreal everything seems. Like, I have spent this very long day just telling myself I’d have to get through a few more things, a few more hours, a few more obstacles, but it was to get to here: fed, showered, just needing to get ready for bed. And yet being here has not solved all my problems, obviously. I still need sleep, rest, recovery time both literal and more… general? Time to get used to being back and to feel like a regular person again. Of course I don’t feel that now. I wouldn’t expect anyone else to and I didn’t even think I would. And yet there’s still a sort of let down to this moment.

I guess tomorrow, with extremely minimal responsibilities (and those that I do have or could have are probably for the better so I am not bored), I’ll be able to see just how sick I am. When I’m not trying to also travel across an ocean or whatever.

Well anyway. That’s my note for today.