September 23: Pre-Trip!

[kinetic_elaboration]

I gotta get out of here and get started on this trip because all of the preparation, overthinking, packing, and last minute stuff has given me so much anxiety! Also as ever when I’m packing or otherwise working on some deadline project, I’ve turned my apartment into an utter mess and now I’m like ‘if only I was actually taking a week off to Clean All This and Fix My Life, ah well, I will do that with so much enthusiasm as soon as I get back!’ And it’s not true. I won’t. It will lose urgency as soon as I have time and my floors will never be clean.

Anyway, then I’ve been trying to distract myself and think about other things and then I got my mind in a weird place. I should really save all the knotted-up thoughts for the train tomorrow. Or, alternately, never!

I’ve also been trying to distract myself with hypothetical writing thoughts but I think it’s only half-working. I had a day where I wrote like a thousand words, another day, yesterday, when I wrote about 300 more… It helps. I don’t know. I still feel knotted up and like… I don’t know what it is that I want or NEED to say. I don’t feel like I have the room to figure it out right now.

But, I will have plenty of travel time for working out thoughts, I guess.