September 20: Short Thoughts

[kinetic_elaboration]

I’ve been resting and avoiding today, and unsurprisingly, I also avoided too much. I am (remain) unprepared for everything and in denial about most things. I do really want to write but that’s been one of the things I’ve been avoiding, and the guilt of that is starting to hit hard. And the worry, because I don’t really know when I WILL.

I mean the things I want to do tomorrow even aside from writing are already totally unrealistic. So. I don’t know what I’m doing. If I weren’t taking a big chunk of days off work, I would want to take some more days off work to prepare for the days I’m taking off work!

Ugh. Anyway, I need to shower and go back to sleep I guess. I’m not tired but I’m not doing anything useful right now and I do have a lot to do tomorrow that, somehow, I have to do, and it can either be easy or hard, I guess.