September 18: More Thoughts

[kinetic_elaboration]

I’m in sort of a weird mood but I think it ultimately comes down to just needing to write but not feeling like I can approach that right now. Even the small stuff, the ‘easy’ stuff. I feel like I only have room for the serious stuff I’m doing (which is getting better, a lot of it is done or at least moving along), and just like glassy eyed staring at screens while I rest cozily under blankets. No in between!

I want to get into writing projects and to utilize that part of my brain but it just feels like a huge thing, not like one word in front of the other but like a whole mess of disorganized projects in front of me. Which–is that true? Not really, but that’s what it feels like.

I also want more fall things. I’m getting my annual fall FOMO, partly because I feel like I don’t have the energy/brainspace to enjoy it and partly because of the weather. Though I will say that it’s been much closer to fall weather than usual this September. This is very much tied up with writing for me but it’s not just that.

I just feel like I need to shove things away and make some ROOM but I’m not sure what shoving away entails. It’s not really a synonym for getting things done. It’s just a feeling, hard to describe.

Anyway, I dearly need to get to sleep, I’ve been half-writing this and yawning for forever.