September 17: Latest Thoughts

[kinetic_elaboration]

Way too wired and I have no desire to sleep–it feels like it’s, like, 3, hours earlier than it actually is–but I need to wind myself back down and get to bed. I did a bit of writing on the project I’m supposed to be working on every day… I need, need, need to get back in a routine for this but it’s been like pulling teeth.

I’m making progress on the big, scary projects that have been taking up a lot of brain space and energy. One is almost done (could have been done but I’m… overthinking for no reason) and one I will have to devote a lot of time to this weekend I think. Which is unfortunate. But, maybe I’m exaggerating how much there is to do and it won’t be that bad when I get into it.

Anyway, I would like to put more brain space into writing or at least, like, thinking about writing even? I tried to look at a list today and was like, oh, no, that’s scary and impossible to even consider.

I have some stuff I want to work on and some stuff I feel like I should but am… wary of? Like it feels like so much to return to it. Feels like it’s been shoved very low in my brain. Like I’ll need a long time to excavate it and I just… don’t believe myself to have that time. It’s all an illusion, though.

Anyway, I’m starting to get tired again, which is good, but I still have to shower before bed.