July 22: Tuesday Note

[kinetic_elaboration]

Nothing of note today because it was as I expected it to be. I spent most of my work day trying to catch up on work, transcribing, and talking, and going to a staff birthday party, which was fine. I decided I needed time out of my own brain after work. I maintain this is very important to my well being but unfortunately I’m bad at confining it to a reasonable amount of time. So now I’m just scrambling to get stuff done as quickly as possible so I can get to sleep.

Tomorrow I’m anticipating a more normal day both at work and after work. In other words, hoping to do things that feel like accomplishment.

I need to get back into writing before I go to bed, which I know has been my refrain all year. It’s just really hard. This story is kicking my ass more and more often. I think in part because it’s just grown so much that it no longer feels like my nice place to be before bed, just screwing around for my own enjoyment. Also once a habit is broken it is sooo easy to continue breaking it. I don’t know. I think I might try to go back to it tomorrow but have my first session be, not writing, but thinking on, writing some notes, trying to untangle myself. It feels like a great big knot right now…