July 21: Monday Off

[kinetic_elaboration]

Weird sort of day today. I came back on the Monday morning train because of Train Issues, so had to get up very early. I slept most of the way on the train itself, got zero reading done because by the time I woke up I had a little bit of a headache and not that much more traveling to do anyway, then went out to brunch. I did some notebook writing but nothing really interesting, useful, or important. Not even really anything fun. Just a sort of feedback loop of the same thoughts that I always think I can go through for the Last Time but it’s never like that.

Then I went back home, unpacked, and lay down for a bit and fell asleep. Which was fine I guess. I did eventually get up and go out for some evening shopping. So I have all my groceries now and it was pretty painless… the most annoying part was going out in the first place and worrying if I’d make it to the bus on time. I got back, relaxed a little, had dinner. The only thing left I have to do is shower. Then I think I will go right to sleep.

The before bed writing has been going really badly and honestly… I’m just not prepared. I’d like to actually see what going to bed at a decent hour looks and feels like. I’d like to put my money where my mouth is in terms of actually going to bed earlier and working on my sleep schedule. That doesn’t mean no before bed writing but it does mean I need to start earlier about it and that–that is not today.

Also I’ve noticed that I’m getting the Anxiety, which is usually a sign I’m ready to end my day and go to sleep, because evening has always been when it comes up for me. And there’s nothing to do about it and it’s not rational.

Anyway, it’ll be weird to go to work tomorrow and have it be my Monday and everyone else’s Tuesday. I probably said I would do some transcription and there’s a party that will take up the afternoon. So I think it will be okay and then I just have to keep myself well occupied in the afternoon.